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tomorrow is going to be awful. i am doing so poor physically but if it is storming tonight then tomorrow will be bad pain-wise.
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well so far i slept until noon and it stopped being overcast around 10 or so this morning so all things considered it isn't so bad today. i still ache terribly and this knot of stress is wearing at me...
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i am not looking forward to this coming week. i expect that i will have to perform some sort of compromise, even if it is only the illusion of doing so. i suppose i'd say "compromise" is something i'm...
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cw: painas i sit here and contemplate the feeling of these pseudo-frissons and how they differ from actual nerve feedback, the only conclusion that i can draw is that i am not experiencing the...
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cw: paini'm currently a bit indulgent in attempting to neutralize these pseudo-frissons, as it's sorta like my baseline experience is dialed up too high and there is all this random static being picked...
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ooooh, fuck me. this mental transition that apparently clicked into place over the weekend is going to be utter hell for the entire duration of it. i'm honestly really mad about this because while i...
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to expand on this, for the past 3-4 days i've been unable to do anything other than sit here - unable to move - and just try to be with this intensity without totally losing myself in it. i've...
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it is extremely curious to have the sensation|experience of feeling wonderful|thrilling and dreadful|worn at once.
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i don't quite recall where i saw this before - this linguistic tick of attempting to represent an notion|sentiment the language doesnt naturally have has a spectrum of the meanings. although something...
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yesterday's conversation about my motivations and how i navigate reality didn't go as well as i hoped but it was more a means to an end than something i was truly hoping to successfully communicate in...
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having an issue that almost appears to be an executive function problem, except i know that it is because i'm not motivated enough to flex the muscle to act away from what i'm enjoying to do the most....
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to be honest, i wasn't expecting that going off vyvanse for a few days would result in such a vivid change in my day-to-day experience. it's like i'm not functioning on autopilot and decision-making is...
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ugh, it's late and i'm not asleep because i started reading a novel with protagonists that are highly traumatized zombies, as that seems such an interesting premise - and includes as much body horror...
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not gonna lie, while i'm definitely more punchy while off the stimulants, i've been laughing more at reading "necroepilogos" than i have on any one thing in ages - probably not since i first read...
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@masukomi what sort of position are you looking for? (i was just looped in on hiring a position for my team. i cannot promise anything but i believe i can vouch for you to bypass most of the interview...
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there are many things i am liking about not being on the vyvanse, but one i have to be careful about is my objectivity. it is easy to remove myself from my own opinion to examine it while on the...
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i am very much one for making rational choices, so when i say that i am making one based on an irrational choice that is entirely inconsequential and avoidable - i reserve the right to be concerned...
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one thing i cannot abide is the taking away a person's ability to choose, the freedom of will and desire of an individual, and it really leaves me stunned that people are so willing to give that up...
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i don't think there is anything quite like feeling of all your muscles tensing and straining to move and respond while your body does absolutely nothing at all. i mean, i am pretty sure one is not...
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