having this weird sense of dissonance where i *know* my experience/perception of reality doesn't match to what is happening external to myself, all while i know that there should *really not* be a functional difference between the two. i'm trying to work on myself and it is hard to do that when you aren't in full control of how you interact with the world. (i must say, the fact this is happening without any recreational drug use or intoxicants is making it much harder to deal with and process)
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